So, yesterday this happened. No big deal.
I'm kidding. IT'S TOTALLY A BIG DEAL! Paying this deposit means that, apparently, this writing residency is really, truly, actually happening.
I have to be honest: as excited as I was about getting admitted to this residency, it took me a few weeks to get around to officially accepting VSC's offer. I had some moments of doubt--is going there the right thing to do? Not that I think I don't deserve it, exactly. They read my sample, and they thought I was good enough, so that means I must be worthy of this. And yet...
It seems too good to be true. People like me don't get to do things like this. People like me work multiple jobs and go years at a time without a vacation. We spend way too much time and energy thinking about grocery budgets and utility bills. Spending money (a LOT of money) to go away to a place like this, to leave "real life" behind and focus for four weeks on nothing but writing? It sounds foolish and frivolous.
But here's what it comes down to: this is an incredible opportunity. If I don't take it, if I wait until a time when I have a few thousand extra dollars lying around, I will never do it. Years from now, I don't want to look back on this as something I missed out on. And when I'm dead, I don't want the best thing people can say about me to be, "She never went over budget." I want people to say, "She was creative, and she knew how to follow a dream."